Okay, this is one of the most insane things we’ve ever seen… WTF?
CASPER, Wyo. –
Police saw an El Camino speeding and swerving down 144 S Ctr Street Thursday night and immediately pulled the car over. During a routine field sobriety test, the officer saw several eyeballs slide from the suspect’s pant leg
onto the asphalt.
Feeling they could have a potential murderer on their hands, police quickly drew guns and cuffed Roy Tilbott, 51, of Casper. Tilbott was quick to assure police that the eyeballs were not human, but instead harvested from cows. Tilbott said he had taken 30 cow eyeballs from Johnson Meats (a slaughterhouse) where he is employed as a meat cutter and smuggled them off the premises in his rectum.
“Company won’t let us take animal scraps home and instead toss them in the landfill,” Tilbott said in the police report. “They’re a very wasteful company. We should be allowed to take scrap meat and other parts home. The company should start a green initiative. They don’t even have recycling at the plant.”
Tilbott explained his actions: “I enjoy eating bovine eyeballs and smuggling them out in my colon was the only way I knew how to get them out without potentially getting caught and fired.”
Tilbott admitted to police that he has been smuggling out eyeballs nearly every day for several months. “I put them in soups,” Tilbott said. “They’re beneficial for erectile dysfunction, which I currently battle, but I also just like the texture and taste.”
Tilbott was arrested for driving under the influence, his BAC nearly two times higher than the legal limit. Tilbott also had several large carving knives concealed under his seat, which police potentially believe to be stolen from Johnson Meats after Tilbott said he’d never seen them before.
Police are waiting to talk to Tilbott’s employer before they potentially charging him with theft of the eyeballs and knives. Johnson Meats has not released a statement regarding the incident.
There was no truth to the above-quoted story, which was just another piece of “satire” from a fake news web site.
There were several telltale signs that this story was fake. First, no other major publication reported the strange story of “Roy Tilbott” and his fetish for cow eyeballs as real news. Second, the photo included in the Crazed article showed a man named James Joe Nordwall (not Roy Tilbott), a serial rapist who was sentenced to 100 years in prison in 2014.
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